This is the Day that the Lord has made

The harder part is the ending of the verse being........ I will rejoice and be glad in it!

It's so hard to rejoice when you are not appreciated. It's not really appreciation that I was seeking today it was just something as simple as do as you are told, and what you know I expect of you today.

My little guys had no desire to have any of that today and I have already broke down in tears once.

We skipped hockey today because I wanted to have a nice stress free day together as family. The game was in another town roughly an hour and 20 minutes from here and the game started at 8:15 am. Second our coach (who doesn't follow this rule himself) expects the players to be there 45 minutes prior to the game starting.....you do the math?? anything to do with 5:30 in the morning in it's self is stressful to me and that would have been enough to ruin my day.

So we decided to forgoe the game today in hope that it would be a nice day. We got up and ready to go to church and it seemed like this might just work.........

We get to Church and worship starts. This is my favorite part of the service! As someone who sings, this is my praise time to my Lord and when I feel closest to him. I am not paying too much attention to my kids around me thinking they know how to behave, I can luxuriate with my eyes closed and sing my worship. Until I hear my son, talking loudly to another kid, and not caring that I was glaring at him to knock it off. He didn't stop. So I grab his arm and made him come sit beside me, which was in front of this kid.

So my son still not acknowledging what kind of trouble he's in or not caring keeps turning around and talking to this freakin kid! I told him to be quiet and turn around, and then when he turned around again told him that if he didn't smarten up I'd take him to the bathroom to spank him. This still did not deter him, he continued to talk during prayer, although this time it was to me even though I told him to be quiet and listen he talked over me and wanted nothing to do with obeying me, I was ready beat him at this point.  Thank God for sunday school dismissal!

Before worship started he had asked if he could go to this boy's grandmas house after church to play. And at first I had said yes that it would be fine. By the time they were dismissed to go to Sunday school that was now a no, and I had made it clear that he was not going anywhere but home with me after church......

All through the service I was getting these sharp stabbing pains in my head and as much as I agreed with what was being preached, I was in a bad mood. I was frustrated and annoyed and wanted my head to stop hurting and for my kids to have just listened in the first place and for this kid that doesn't seem to know the kind of respect that I was taught church to be, to actually know etc etc....

So Church is now coming to a close and for some reason the kids are coming into the sanctuary while we are trying to pray, and I'm trying to be a part of this prayer for a family that is struggling with health issues and my son walks up to me and starts waving a piece of paper in front of me, so I opened my eyes and just closed them again, Hubby took the paper while I was ignoring him and finally it's all over.

So I went over and said Hello to a family that this was only their second time at the Church and then was bombarded by my little girl and my african princess niece saying aunty can she come to our house today? pleeeeaaasssseee. I said "yes but go ask your mother to make sure it's okay with her." So off we went to ask if it was okay. It was okay.

So it's just about time to leave, where's the boy? we checked downstairs and he was not there. He went to the kids grandmas house even though I said he was not allowed. so off I went to her house to retrieve my son. I asked him "what are you doing?" and he said "I forgot" no, he didn't forget and now was lying to me to get his way. I told him, no you didn't forget you were being sneaky and not listening get your stuff and get in the car. he just kept talking over me again "I just wanted to spend some more time with him" At this point I didn't care what he wanted he was sooooo GROUNDED!!!

I went back to the church to let my daughter and the adults in charge of her at this point that we were leaving and I look closely at my daughter, and the kid has makeup on......I can't even count how many times I have told this child that she is 9 years old and not allowed to wear makeup unless she's in a pageant, it's not for everyday life..... So I said "why are you wearing makeup?" she just looked at me so I repeated myself and she said "I don't know, to look pretty I guess" so I made her go and let everyone know that she was now coming home with the rest of us.

So with one crying and the boy ignoring everyone I dropped them and the hubby at home and decided that I was going to go get a few things at the store. The big girl came with me. We got 2 blocks away and I started to cry and I said to her, why do I even bother? you guys all think that I talk for my own good, that you don't have to listen to me and you go ahead and do whatever it is you please so tell me why I bother when it doesn't make a lick of difference, anyway? "mom it does too" was the response I got and that was it. I cried the rest of the way to the store, got myself together and managed to spend $260 on food after we just did groceries a few days ago. Ah well....Easy come, Easy go.....

*On a side note* After the Service the pastor came to talk to us, hubby and I, and was truly being encouraging to us, and my heart was longing so much to be comforted and I held back tears as he talked to hubby and I. But then he turned to the big girl and started talking to her, he started telling her things that God had already showed me, about her! about what He wanted from and out of her! That was wow. I had to keep looking away to keep myself from crying.... I told her in the store that the pastor speaking to her, was nothing to do with me asking him to talk to her, or talking to him about her or anything at all to do with me. She just looked at me shocked and said "really??"

So needless to say, little people are grounded. I am in here, my room, blogging to try and keep my low levels of patience away from hubby and big girl. And they are watching tv together.

Satan has been working rediculously hard this week at breaking me, and my family....My son and little girl have been enough to make me commit myself. Just being mean and bad and disruptive and today was it. I never leave church angry, and today I did.

I feel as though satan is using my body against me, these headaches, as well as a new set of cysts growing, as well as my kids. How flattering that he's that worried about me and what I can do within the Kingdom that he will cause this much strife in my life......BUT guess what? I don't forget what I have done within the kingdom either and I will do it again, and even more so!

So Right now, I'm going to take some medicine, Pray, and take a nap. I hope that if you have read this that you will now take the time to send up a prayer for me, and my family. Thank You

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24